It might shock you to learn that this was my first viewing of E.T. ever and that I watched Paul (2011) before this due to my family’s communal hatred of Extraterrestrial the Extraterrestrial. Saving Private Ryan? Jurassic Park? Jaws? Sure, those were all fine to show a growing boy, but E.T.? This shit was harder to smuggle into my house than an escapee from Guantanamo Bay. I promise you if E.T. landed in my backyard, my dad and my sister would tag-team beating him to death with hammers.

Anyways, I cried. Good movie. Minus a star because E.T. didn’t smoke weed despite Paul’s role as ghost-writer.

Oi Omelanda bit me son.

One time in New Mexico, I smoked weed with a 60 year old Gulf War vet in a ditch behind a church and he told me about when he lived as a naked homeless man who ate rattlesnakes in the desert, in case you’re wondering what this film felt like. Shout out David, hope you’re doing well.