Serious WITHIN THE WOODS vibes from this glorified stop motion sizzle reel of eclectic garage made creatures, with the Frankenstein sinew of a junk movie narrative stitched between their gory, goofy attacks. There’s a charm to the handmade quality of it all, and the local theater troupe - looking either hungover or wired on whatever’s in their pockets that weekend - are just there for the hang out vibes. Except for the screeching mayor, who’s channeling his inner John Waters…
The Charles Band rules - barely feature length, two locations, one able creature design, and then a whole bunch of wordy filler - apply in full force here, with Ashley Laurence sporting a distressingly hot Sarah Connor look and Jeffrey Combs proving again that there are zero productions he didn't give 100% to. Sort of comes off like a post RESERVOIR DOGS hard-boiled stage play, only our central thieves are holed up in an old castle that's haunted by a flesh eating, corpse robbing beastie. All in all, easy to swallow junk that your brain digests and discards almost immediately.
Between '95 - '97, production ceased on the PUPPET MASTER films for the first time since the series began in '89 (allowing Charles Band to focus on other nightmares, such as the SUBSPECIES series). Full Moon Productions evolved into Full Moon Entertainment, then - due to the decline in the DTV market - broke from Paramount and became Full Moon Studios in '95 (with Stuart Gordon's CASTLE FREAK ['95]) being that label's inaugural release come Halloween). After dropping SHRIEKER in…
The sort of gloriously perverse weirdness that could’ve only come from the late ‘80s/early ‘90s DTV horror boom that flooded your local video store with a barrage of tits, blood, violence, scream queens, and a talking demon who sounds like a Tuesday night open mic host at a black comedy club. David DeCoteau is a glorious neon maniac, and Linnea Quigley’s sneer is how I identify, sexually.
Like you’re getting the “James Cameron” DQ Blizzard of the Month at Luigi Cozzi’s favorite family owned Texas dessert depot: THE ABYSS is the soft serve, with GALAXY OF TERROR and ALIENS being the candy shrapnel that’s blended into a tasty trash concoction. Maybe I just really want ice cream, I don’t know.
This has its moments - the monster reveal, a harried chase on the beach at night, an attack from beneath a life raft that is basically my worst aquatic nightmare come to life - but even those can’t make up for the fact that this stretches its tiny, single location creature feature premise to the absolute limit. The Lovecraftian oceanic imagery (it’s basically DAGON ‘19) and a climax that goes Full Predator lift up a saggy midsection, but it’s still a pretty long 84 minutes, which is saying something, seeing how it’s shot in Fiji and all.
Horror cinema staple Jeff Burr (STEPFATHER II, LEATHERFACE: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE III) shot THE FINAL CHAPTER - which we all knew (like FRIDAY THE 13TH's fourth entry) wouldn't come even close to being the last - in quick succession with PUPPET MASTER 4, ing for why they feel incredibly similar in structure (to the point of tedium). Rick (Gordon Currie) is in jail following the events of the last installment, the deaths of his scientist colleagues pinned on him by…
While it's easy to call PUPPET MASTER (or PUPPETMASTER, per the actual spelling in the opening credits) "the movie that started it all" when discussing the franchise, the same holds true for the second half of creator Charles Band's career. Band was exiting Empire Pictures - the company he'd founded in '83 and discovered great success producing movies for Stuart Gordon (RE-ANIMATOR, FROM BEYOND) before literally purchasing a castle in Italy (Castello di Giove) - after the genre label declared…
A Long Island haunted house attraction come to life, complete with all the hot dog farts. Trying to explain what happens in this movie is impossible. Just sit back and enjoy the ride once the spider lady appears and sucks the life out of the guy who’s spent most of the movie talking through a sock puppet (while simultaneously wearing a t-shirt of him and his homemade hand muppet). A goopy, psychotronic delight where you can practically smell the monster latex all around you.
"I'm certain that my creature will give you a demonstration of its virility that no human being could be capable of imagining. You will see, dear Doctor, and appreciate the immolation of the chosen virgin who, without realizing it, will be sacrificing herself to science."
Is this the most vile thing on my shelf? Probably not (*side-eyes WATER POWER*), but it’s certainly in the conversation.