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9

Am I talkin to me?

16

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

Review by theo ★★★

“you talkin’ to me?”
“i’m the only one here, so i must be talkin’ to me”

Review by davidehrlich ★½

It’s rare to see a film in which not a single interesting thing happens over the course of its entire running time. Not only is that true of Barry Levinson’s “The Alto Knights,” but this tired-as-hell mafia story — which wouldn’t merit so much as a footnote in the history of mob cinema if not for the gimmick of casting Robert De Niro as real-life crime boss Vito Genovese and his best frenemy Frank Costello — seems totally at peace with it.

From the moment it starts, Levinson’s first theatrical feature since 2015’s “Rock the Kasbah” is comfortably entombed in the same deep sense of resignation that inspires its main character to get out of the game. Frank Costello knows…

9

The average age of all the people involved in this film is 127.

13

Would’ve been better if it had 2 Robert Pattinsons, directed by Bong Joon-ho, and was set outside of Earth.

2

Me: Mom can we go watch Goodfellas in theaters?

Mom: No we have Goodfellas at home.

At Home: Alto Knights

2

It’s THE OFFER meets TRACY ZOOMS IN, yet *somehow* boring as shit.

7

This film was made for old people (I'm old people)

4

So two wise guys walk into a bar weird part is they're the same guy... I love mafia content but this felt like a movie reliving the glory days and the double De Niro felt kind of awkward to me. I promise this would've been much better if Joe Pesci had played one of the leads.

1

Welcome to the Bruno Mattei version of The Irishman. Shockingly inept, full of baffling storytelling, editing, and directorial choices. The first 10-or-so minutes are as disorienting as A Night to Dismember as it zips through about 40 years of historical detail and character relations before arriving at what in any normal movie would be Act 3. It’s impossible to tell what Levinson and Co. expect us to feel about these characters, their relationships, and their milieu, except that they seem to think the protagonist, crime boss of bosses Frank Costello, is basically a good guy. They come nowhere close to building that case.

De Niro is pointlessly cast in both of the two main roles (one of them clearly a Joe…

2

A healthy dose of late stage mediocrity, your Italian American grandpa’s new favorite movie probably, almost sort of something many times (the courtroom drama bits are fun) but ultimately just boring and inconsequential. De Niro playing opposite himself is an interesting idea thematically but it also makes the whole thing feel unreal in a way that undermines the tension we are supposed to feel from real events. Rip alto knights