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25

Needed more of whatever Kristen Stewart was doing

42

"if the police did an autopsy, what do you think they'd find inside?"

"outer space."

people were understandably excited when this was announced as cronenberg's return to "body horror" but i don't think that's actually a useful way to think about this film. while saul tenser insists that he uncomfortable with the ways in which his body is mutating and evolving (so much so, in fact, that he's willing to work with the police to subvert groups who relish that mutation). but the gentle (and profoundly feminine) pleasure of his gestures during his first performance betray an obvious thrill at the experiences his new organs provide. surgery is the new sex, after all, and he's not very good at the…

2

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

1

nothing in this could ever be as gross as the man sitting next to me who groaned, snorted, cleared his throat, smacked his lips, guzzled his popcorn, and moaned for a good portion of the movie. wouldn’t have batted an eye if he farted. was that a ion of joan of arc reference in the end? enjoyed this as much as i could, all things considered

7

as someone who also eats plastic (kraft american cheese), i felt seen and represented

14

BODY IS REALITY
Long live the new sex!

Finding organ-ization in chaos, meaning in mutilation and artistic expression in the dying days/dilapidated ruins of mankind. The inherent contradiction of inventing strange machines to just barely preserve our old, decrepit bodies in a constant state of painful life while also accelerating our planet into a plastic husk of futurist technoporn performance art and environmental rot that is completely uninhabitable and unlivable unless we change with it. He’s been saying it for over 40 years now but maybe our bodies are trying to tell us something and it really is time to finally stop staring at the overgrown tumor and ecological decay and just surrender ourselves to whatever the next stage of…

Review by davidehrlich ★★★★

Watching David Cronenberg’s beguiling new dream-noir — a twilight vision of tomorrow in which the next phase of human evolution is considered, at least by some privately self-conflicted bureaucrats, as a punishable insurrection against the very nature of humanity itself — I couldn’t help but think about the current plague of extremist politicians who are using their static interpretation of a 235-year-old document as justification to dictate what happens inside living people.

Abortion might seem like a counterintuitive analogue for a story that argues the need to let nature run its course, but “Crimes of the Future” is nothing if not a film about the barbaric futility of trying to police new flesh with old principles. Our bodies interpret the…

4

solid but by the end I wasn’t sure if surgery was the new sex or not

4

mr cronenberg took the term 'rearrange my guts' way too literally

6

real good real melancholy. always weak for an elegiac “am I losing my edge” movie from an aging master. viggo v tender

Review by matt lynch ★★½

Sort of remedial for Cronenberg but also so literal and cheeky that it borders on self-parody. Nothing particularly tantalizing or provocative or even really all that yucky.

Review by Ella Kemp ★★★

Hmm ok! Didn’t dislike it but just wanted a little bit more of…everything? Would be neat as a book, has a nice vibe, too much hype