I was a Ryan Reynolds apologist strictly based on the first two Deadpool movies.

I didn’t really care for the X-Men movies and on first viewing I thought Logan was okay then on rewatch it’s easily the best Marvel movie.

What in the fuck is this?

No really. What is this? 

Reynolds was almost a laughing stock in rom coms before doing his Deadpool ion project. Jackman is fucking Wolverine. Why did the two of them drop trou and take a tandem steaming shit on their legacy with this overlong, unfunny, piss poor directed nonsense? Did Disney back up the Brinks truck?

There are 400 cameos in Hubie Hallowen which I watched before this. All of them are more integral to the plotline than every cameo in this I won’t spoil for some reason.

The lackluster villians in the first Deadpool movies were probably my biggest gripe. Good luck figuring out who the villian is in this because I still don’t know and don’t care.

It’s also again…painfully unfunny. T.J. Miller sucks ass but he had jokes written for him and could deliver them with comedic timing. This has nothing and no one.

We’re also in the multiverse with no real stakes and nothing matters. So why should anyone care about anything that happens in the two and a half fucking hours in this? Logan had the balls to ram that fucker through a tree trunk and kill his ass. If only it was for good and we weren’t subjected to Shawn Levy trying and failing to do an action scene. After this I watched Resident Evil. An equally stupid movie that is 100x better directed. Something missing from the Tim Miller and David Leitch entries.

I’m out after this.